Saturday, December 5, 2015

Organization, Lyme Style

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I am so frustrated. I have a bad cold, and I know it's not a herx or anything like that. But the level of exhaustion makes me incapacitated. I get vertigo, bump into walls, slur my words (although I can't tell that I am). I know good days, because they were just a few days ago, rather than the MONTHS ago I used to feel. So while I could hardly keep my eyes open or even move today. I slur my words even though I can't tell it.

The good thing is, the typical Lyme pain in my legs and such aren't there -- just a nasty stuffed nose and the new joy of vertigo and oopsy daisy lets all fall down, probably due to the 11 vials of blood I just gave. I have been so exhausted the past two days that driving was not an option. Apparently, neither was getting out of the bed. I felt guilty asking Zack to feed the cat and answer the phone, but he's always a loving and super helper. Looking at it that way, it's not bad news.

But it's still frustrating. Now that I've been getting better, I'm more aware of what needs to be done, what hasn't been done that I should have been doing for years. Things like dusting and repainting baseboards, a weekly Clorox wiping of the inside of the fridge, cleaning all the door knobs from germs, and that's just off the top of the my head. I want to start cooking again, selling again, working out again, and CLEARING THE DAMNED TABLE. 

It's pathetic. I have the kitchen table covered. I have my work table covered. Rick has been using my office, which now that I have a laptop, I don't miss, but it has a billion antique tchotchkes in it and each has to be carefully dusted.

Not to mention wanting desperately to start lampworking again. Some days my hands are normal, but many days the tremor is horrible. I guess I could see what sort of interesting organic shapes I could make from that! Zack has expressed interest in making beads, both polymer (which I know nothing about) and lampwork (which I'll have to get didymium glasses for him).

I guess you can see why I'm so anxious to spend my good days with as much time as I possibly can. It's been so LONG, and I know so many people who have had it longer, and I think of them all the time. In speaking to some, there are a lot of people who feel the same way I do. Once you start feeling better, even if only for a few day, it's even worse when you have to go back to bed and seeth a bit before realizing, hoping, that the next series of Good Days lasts a bit longer, and the Bed Days allow us to think ahead. Maybe we can't do everything. I don't know many healthy people who can! 

So I'm going to make the best of things and try very hard to quit being a pain to live with when things go south. 

Just looking at these pictures give me a jolt of hope. I'd encourage anyone in the same position to do the same -- look through your photos, look through your journals, pick up your lists, and instead of getting frustrated that you can't do them all now, relish the thought of attacking one or two when you're feeling better. Even the healthiest person has to slow down some times, so please don't compare yourself to them. You CAN do this. 

Just take one step at a time.


  1. Hey Lori this is my first read of your new Lemon Sugar Hold the Lyme. I can relate to the desire to do certain things but I am just not there as yet. When I stop To rest I cry so I have been working very hard at decorating my home cleaning my garage to,make a studio digging flower beds etc: Do take care of you and Be blessed to be a blessing

  2. Glad you are having some better days.

  3. I can't imagine what are you going through,
    Man reading your posts always brings tears to my eyes, hang in there, you have been so strong, and know that you are blessed in having such good helper in Zack and Rick.

  4. Hi Lori,
    you came by my blog that I don't keep up any more...I'm thinking I should get back to it...Create to Heal...and asked it you could use an image...yes you can, just give me credit, and tell others if they want to use it to give me credit and no one is to make a profit off of it. I would like to know if it is used anywhere else too. :-)
    Speaking as someone who has been chronically ill for a few years now, and not able to do many things, my husband is a great care giver, you have to let a lot of it go honey. It still gets to me sometimes. I swear I think I'm a bit more particular about things now that I can't do them than I was before. But I just have to let it really isn't that important in the whole picture. ya know?
    making polymer beads is much easier than making the other beads you are making. No chance of getting it would be easier for Zack to get started with that...IMHO. I know you don't know anything about it, but I know if you looked into it, you would think...oh my gosh, that is soooo easy.

    You know from reading my blog I have vertigo, well, I have it almost every day, and I've lost a lot of my balance function. I also have very severe migraines, cluster headaches, and daily headaches (I can handle those). and some other junk. I'm disabled. They are about to kill my balance system in my ears. So I know what it means to not be able to do the things you used to, and want to. I really want to clean my house, and we have a house cleaner come in every 2 weeks. But it is not the same. Hubby can't do it all.
    I know you said you have a friend who has Meniere's disease. So you understand a little of what I go through, I sure hope your friend isn't like me.
    drop by my other blog sometimes if you like.

  5. I hope your cold has run its course and you are feeling better. At present I have a scratchy throat and stuffy nose, so am taking a day to be lazy and catch up online. I wish I had energy to do more, but your stories and your strength inspire me. I recently read that we should make our lists on nothing larger than a normal size post-it note. Don't make a list so long it sets us up for disappointment.

    You are really accomplishing the important things and much more than many others.
    You also keep a positive outlook and inspire others.
    Wishing you a string of good days.


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