Staying at home all day really isn't as fun as it sounds, and even when I can be up and about, like yesterday, it certainly isn't Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Especially the past 29 days getting over bacterial bronchitis. That meant no Lyme treatment.
It was awful. But I'm through with that now, back on treatment.
One thing never changed, though.
I'm lonely.
People say I shouldn't be because of Facebook. That can only help but so much. If I'm home I'm usually so tired I can't keep up with Facebook friends, and in this small town I have three friends (one whom I saw for a little yesterday, which was great.) I rest during the day so I can eat dinner at the table, play cards with Zack, help with homework, see my husband. The entire time I'm exhausted. I try to look forward to the few days in a row when I feel normal. I just never know when they'll occur.
I can't explain it properly right now, but this is kind of WHY it's hard to talk about.
I wonder if anyone feels that way, too. It's not a strength thing, or a lack of confidence thing. It's being alone and too tired to do much of anything for any length of time. I try, Lord knows. I do.
But, well. This is a part of life for now. Patience has never been my virtue.
