Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Lonely



Staying at home all day really isn't as fun as it sounds, and even when I can be up and about, like yesterday, it certainly isn't Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Especially the past 29 days getting over bacterial bronchitis. That meant no Lyme treatment.

It was awful. But I'm through with that now, back on treatment.

One thing never changed, though.

I'm lonely.

People say I shouldn't be because of Facebook. That can only help but so much. If I'm home I'm usually so tired I can't keep up with Facebook friends, and in this small town I have three friends (one whom I saw for a little yesterday, which was great.) I rest during the day so I can eat dinner at the table, play cards with Zack, help with homework, see my husband. The entire time I'm exhausted. I try to look forward to the few days in a row when I feel normal. I just never know when they'll occur.

I can't explain it properly right now, but this is kind of WHY it's hard to talk about.




I wonder if anyone feels that way, too. It's not a strength thing, or a lack of confidence thing. It's being alone and too tired to do much of anything for any length of time. I try, Lord knows. I do.

But, well. This is a part of life for now. Patience has never been my virtue.

10 comments:

  1. Key words: For Now. Hang in there..

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  2. Ouch. I can say that I sympathize and I know that my husband goes thru that. Me not so much. I work at home and really only see people but once a week but that is fine for me. I really don't like most people so I am happy not dealing with them.

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  3. I'm lonely too. I have only one real friend and since she's been working a lot lately, I hardly see her. I just got treated badly on one of the online groups I'm on so I'm distancing myself from that right now. When I mention that I'm left out of things, people tell me that you have to be with the group to be informed of when the next fun thing is. Sigh. Vicious circle!

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  4. I suspect more people feel this way than will talk about it. I am a total introvert, so even when I haven't felt good and had no energy, it didn't make me feel lonely. I feel really lucky because my personality seems to really fit with my life, if that makes sense. I wish for you a life in the not too distant future that matches your personality!

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  5. Lori I am heartbroken for you. I wish that I lived near you I'd bug you to the point you would wish to be lonely. I have never experienced such loneliness, I also have chronic health issues but not nearly as severe as yours and it's frustrating to want to do but not be able. If you ever want to talk just let me know I will email you my phone number. Please take care of yourself!

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  6. Oh my sweet friend, it hurts my heart to know that you feel so lonely. I do wish I were near you. I need a buddy. I have many friends but no one to buddy with. My dear friend has moved too far away to even go see but to make plans to make the trip. SOOO I am going to message you my phone number. You can call me 24-7-365I am loving you So- Be blessed to be a blessing

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  7. oy! me, too, sweetheart! with the fibro, i can't do all that other (normal) people can do. i just lost my job 'cause i'm always sick. stopped going to church because i felt so lonely and i'm single with no kids, and that doesn't fit with the churchy life. anyway, just saying i feel you, sweetie. {{{hugs}}} and much love.

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  8. I've been sick for going on 12+ years now so I guess I've learned to live with the loneliness. Granted I still live with my parents, I have my boyfriend, and a close circle of friends, and I couldn't be happier, but some days are harder than others.

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  9. The loneliness is a tough place to be. Especially since I probably bring it on myself by isolating. I used to be social, did things, shopped, was a decent wife, friend, mother. I don't know how anymore. I've lost myself by not being so sick, debilitated, and waking up. I can only hold on to the faith that we're all going through these things for some reason. Peace, Love, and Sunshine, my friend. I love you.

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Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!